Programming Note from the Nola Nerd Couple

We have outgrown our present website.  In fact, we have gotten to the point that we can’t even post more pictures on our site without paying more money.  So, we shopped arround and will be hosting nolanerdcouple.com on a new host.

We are in the process of having our domain transferred from it’s present registar to our new host. Hopefully, this will occur in the next few days.  We will be posting, without picture, until this happens on this site, and on our new site. We will also let everyone know when we have moved over.

Thanks for following our adventures, and here is hoping that you stick around for our new ones!

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Parenting: I Want to Be Well For Her

To say this year has exciting would be an understatement. It has been the best year ever, but it nearly was the worse year as well. The struggles my wife had in pregnancy didn’t end with delivery. She had to be rushed to the ER three times during the baby’s first week of life, had her gallbladder removed in October, and now has more issues in the abdomen region (none are life-threatening but they are life changing).

Well, with the exception of a case of food poisoning (or a bad drug interaction), this year has been pretty good for me physically.  My palindromic rheumatism has reared its head a few times, but while extremely painful, not debilitating. Except…

My mental health ran into a roadblock. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time.  I used to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with mild (later severe) depression and social anxiety disorder. Funny how the things I love require me to be social, yet they are so exhausting. The medicine I was prescribed, sertraline, agreed with me. I changed jobs (this was 2003) and the co-pay for the medicine didn’t fit into my budget.  Since this is America, I quit taking it.

I really didn’t need it for a long time. I had read the anxiety and phobia workbook and learned how to cope with it. The mental exercises I learned from that book and my doctor served me well for about a decade (which included Katrina).

Yet, this year proved to be too much. I became overwhelmed. Not with the baby, but with everything. Luckily, the Mrs. understood because I have always been upfront with her about my condition. She has mentally and emotionally been my rock, as I have been there for her physically. And the baby is both of our grace.

I don’t want to put all my fear, complexes, and doubts onto my daughter.  She is very social. She loves to be carried facing forward so she can see people. She loves looking at people at the park and will interact with anyone we introduce to her. She’s damn near perfect.

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Our grace!

I’m not weak.  I’m not crazy.  I’m just not well. The important thing is I want to be well.  That’s why I returned to seeing a psychiatrist. I’m sure I could have told my GP I had anxiety and depression (mine does ask every time).  However, that’s not what he specializes in.  I needed to make sure I wasn’t wrong in my self-assessment that I needed help. My new doctor immediately realized how overwhelmed I was.

Even at my worse, when it was impossible for me to smile, I made sure I didn’t lose the ability to make her smile. If that meant tickling her, pretending to eat her toes, or giving her raspberries, I worked to make sure she knew she was loved and that I was fighting for her.

I wrote a post similar to this on Facebook a few days ago. I’ve already received a few messages about brave I was for posting.  I received lots of thoughts and prayers (don’t read sarcasm into that…I’m thankful). A couple of people privately messaged me saying that for the first time in a while, they didn’t feel alone. A few thanked me for fighting the stigma.

I’m beyond caring about the stigma.  So people know that I suffer from depression and anxiety now.

Now, they also know I’m doing something about it.

Fandoming: Slowing Down

We used to consume lots of content. We would watch the Arrowverse, Agents of Shield, Riverdale, and Once Upon a Time. Every week.

Not anymore. Belonging to fandoms has slowed down for us.

We slowed down mainly because of the pregnancy. Now, we prefer spending time with the baby. This makes writing a nerd blog slightly harder. Let’s face it, we have to consume content and have experiences to be able to produce content. It’s a cycle.

We will eventually catch up. Sooner or later, we will be able to not interject “no spoilers” in conversations with people who have similar interests.

Worse, Mrs. Nola Nerd Couple is still having some issues and still has more tests to run. This makes providing content even harder, especially when it comes to doing podcasts.

However, slowing down doesn’t mean stopping anymore. It means we will have to get more inventive with keeping NolaNerdCouple.com alive. If you haven’t followed us on social media, please do so. If you are a loyal reader and love to write but don’t want to have a full-time blog, write for us. When you think about it, everything has a fandom, and everything has its nerds.

Stick with us, we will bounce back.

We always do.

The Nola Nerd Couple Podcast Episode 46: Mr. Nola Nerd Couple and the Nola Nerd Baby Discuss the Music She Likes

In this mini-episode, Mr. Nola Nerd Couple and the Nola Nerd Baby (well she just makes baby sounds) discuss the music the Nola Nerd Couple plays for the baby and which ones she seems to enjoy the most!

Source: The Nola Nerd Couple Podcast Episode 46: Mr. Nola Nerd Couple and the Nola Nerd Baby Discuss the Music She Likes

The Nola Nerd Couple Podcast Episode 46: Mr. Nola Nerd Couple and the Nola Nerd Baby Discuss the Music She Likes

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-qsbau-9ec6e8

In this mini-episode, Mr. Nola Nerd Couple and the Nola Nerd Baby (well she just makes baby sounds) discuss the music the Nola Nerd Couple plays for the baby and which ones she seems to enjoy the most!

Star Wars: Learning to Listen

I never gave two cents about diversity in much anything when I was a kid and teenager.  “If it doesn’t affect me, why should I care” was my attitude.  Let’s face, why would it affect me.  I’m a straight, white, cis male of European descent.  Furthermore, I was a skinny kid.

I also grew up in a town that had few minorities.  There was not a large black population where I grew up and the Hispanic and Asian communities were non-existent. There were no discussions of diversity until I became an adult.

When I taught in public school in New Orleans, it home to me how diversity mattered.  I remember bringing up Star Wars to describe something, and the kids didn’t understand the reference.  It wasn’t because of their age either.  It was because the movie didn’t speak to them about their lives. But since it was school, I didn’t really delve further into it.

The more I’ve embraced my nerdom, the more I ran into all kinds of fans.  The more I became interested in their stories. Reading blogs by people of color and discussing diversity at cons, the more I understood how difficult it is for some people to feel part of something. It wasn’t just that characters didn’t look or talk like them that made them feel excluded. It was also the fandoms itself that did this. I’ve seen on more than one occasion a male Star Wars fan trying to explain something to my wife about the saga. I always feel sorry for them, because my wife is strongwilled and doesn’t hold back. She definitely doesn’t need me to be her white night. However, for introverts, this might not come as naturally.

Particularly useful was the hashtag #swrepmatters.  Stories from people of color, women, members of the LGBTQ community, people with disabilities, and people from different body types opened my eyes to how the Star Wars fandom is approached from different people. It taught me how people felt when they saw a person that looked like them on screen and actually had something to do.

I seriously could write a dissertation about how much I learned from reading the posts with that hashtag.  I wrote one that was similar to this blog.  However, as much as I want to speak about diversity, in the end, I better serve the movement by listening. The “white savior” trope is all too familiar to people who don’t look like me.

I could say I’m interested in this topic because I have a daughter and I want her to be able to enjoy any fandom she wants without feeling excluded. More importantly, I want to enjoy the fandom without the creepiness that a lot of women have to go through.  But, I’m going to be selfish.  I want to learn more because it is better for me. It makes me a better person.

The more I listen the more I learn. The more I learn the more I can become an ally.

 

 

Parenting: Smiles and Pouts

Mr. Nola Nerd Couple’s grandfather passed away last week.  He lived a long, productive life full of good works.  Today, we put him to rest.

The Nola Nerd Baby spent a couple of afternoons with him.  On the first one, she was all smiles and totally enthralled with her great-grandfather.

On the second trip, she was not having a good day.  She threw one of her few tantrums that day.  Still, she was cute and her great-grandfather new it. The more she bouded (cajun for being upset…not sure if the spelling is right), the bigger her bahbin (cajun for pout…again, not sure of spelling…I did check the internet and got 3 different spellings), the larger his laugh.

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These photos, and this blog, in particular, will be shared with her when she gets older.  You can’t know where you are going unless you know where you have been.